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Living The Better Way
We will never be totally free from codependent tendencies until we see Christ face to face. Those of us, however, who begin to admit our misplaced trust can also begin to discover something that is better than our doubt, despair, and disappointment. In the process we can start to become people who find a better way—living for God and others, and…
The Path To A Better Way
Codependency is a path that many of us have followed. At one time or another, most of us have been in relationships in which we’ve needed others too much and trusted in our codependent strategies more than God.
Learning to trust God instead of codependency is like jumping from a sinking ship during a raging storm. God is calling us…
What’s Wrong With Codependency?
There’s a lot wrong with codependency! It doesn’t work. It creates more problems. It’s a violation of love. And it’s a sign of an unrecognized problem.
It Doesn’t Work.
No matter how skillful people are in their codependent strategies, they cannot completely control anything or anyone. Life continues to be unsafe and disappointing. Friends and loved ones may comply temporarily, but…
What Drives A Codependent Person?
Although the faces of codependency differ, the driving motivations are similar. A careful examination of codependent people reveals that fear, misplaced trust, and poor examples drive them to control and be controlled by people.
Driven By Fear.
All of us are afraid of something. But codependent people are gripped with an inordinate amount of insecurity. Much of the way they think…
What's Codependency?
Jimmy Piersall was like most red-blooded American boys growing up in the 1930s. He loved to play America’s favorite pastime. From as early as Jimmy can remember, his father taught him to play baseball. In his book Fear Strikes Out, Jimmy recounts, “One of my earliest memories... was standing in the yard behind the house, catching a rubber ball and…
Free from Condemnation
As a couple was driving their trailer through dry northern California, they felt a tire blow and heard the scrape of metal against pavement. The sparks ignited the deadly 2018 Carr Fire—a wildfire that burned nearly 230,000 acres, destroyed more than 1,000 homes, and resulted in the deaths of several people.
When survivors heard how the couple were overcome with grief, they formed a Facebook page to show “grace and extend kindness . . . for the shame and despair” enveloping them. One woman wrote: “As someone that lost their home to this fire—I need you to know my family…
Introduction
The student seated in the chair on the other side of my desk was almost in tears as she struggled with what decision to make about a relationship. Was God leading her and her boyfriend to move toward marriage? The day before I’d had a conversation with someone about a ministry position: should he take this job to serve people…
Never Give Up Hope
When my friend received a diagnosis of cancer, the doctor advised her to get her affairs in order. She called me, sobbing, worried about her husband and young children. I shared her urgent prayer request with our mutual friends. We rejoiced when a second doctor encouraged her to never give up hope and confirmed his team would do all they could…
Bits of Christmas Candy
One Christmas many years ago, my sister Kerry and I attempted a gingerbread house. Neither of us had ever made one before, and we assumed it would be an easy and fun project to get us in the Christmas mood. After it was too late, we found that assembling a house of gingerbread and candy was only slightly less complicated…
Shepherds and Wise Men, Egypt and Nazareth
When I was a sophomore in college, my friend Jeb and I were driving back to school from a semester break when we got caught in a terrible snowstorm on the Massachusetts Turnpike. Very quickly the roads turned treacherous, and the visibility grew poor. By the time the weather got really bad, we were too far from home to turn…
Three Boxes for Christmas
I know of parents who, in an attempt to stave off greed and materialism in the hearts of their children, limit the number of Christmas presents each child receives to three. Why three? The thinking goes like this: If three gifts—gold, frankincense, and myrrh—were enough for Jesus, then three wrapped packages under the tree should be enough for any child.…
The Door of Reconciliation
Inside St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Dublin, Ireland, there’s a door that tells a five-century-old tale. In 1492 two families, the Butlers and the FitzGeralds, started fighting over a high-level position in the region. The fight escalated, and the Butlers, afraid they would be killed, took refuge in the cathedral. When the FitzGeralds came to ask for a truce, the Butlers were afraid to open the door. So the FitzGeralds cut a hole in it, and their leader offered his hand in peace to prove their desire was genuine. The two families then reconciled, and from adversaries they became friends.
God has…
Kingdom Citizen: Your Role in the Story of God
Nicodemus said to [Jesus], “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born? —John 3:4
A few years ago, I got on a kick to reinvent myself a bit physically. At the time, I had a beard, glasses, and an extra thirty pounds. I decided it…
The Gospel: A Summary of God's Big Story
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. —2 Timothy 3:16–17
Let’s rewind, back before the days when I was a teacher at Christian Heritage School, back to when I was a student. It was…
Bigger Than a Story
Is there a thing of which it is said, “See, this is new”?
It has been already in the ages before us. —Ecclesiastes 1:10
I entered through the front doors of Christian Heritage School in Trumbull, Connecticut, as I had done a thousand times before, but this September morning was different. When I arrived at my desk, it faced the back…
