Just a few days before Thanksgiving 2014, my husband left our home, our marriage, for a woman he had met at work. I was devastated, as you can imagine. Betrayed by the one who I trusted to love me forever, til death do us part.
I was saved as a teenager, and had been in and out of church throughout my life. I knew God and His word, yet the world always pulled me back in. A month or so before my husband left, I felt this calling by God to come back to Him. I started seeking Him more and more, yet not totally surrendering. It wasn’t until a few days after my husband was gone that I finally did so.
I hadn’t eaten or slept in days. My family stayed with me in our home, trying to comfort me and be there by my side as I drowned in my grief. But nothing they said penetrated the pain. Their hugs fell on a numb body. Then one evening I went into the bathroom and fell apart. I laid on the floor and sobbed from the deepest part of me, unable to breathe for the physical weight of pain that bore down on my chest. In a moment, I found myself crying out to God. I begged Him to remove the pain. I told Him I couldn’t take it anymore, it hurt too bad and I didn’t want to go on. I pleaded for comfort. Suddenly, my son came into the bathroom and laid down beside me. He placed his hand on my back and said “It’ll be okay mom.” That was it! Something happened like nothing I had ever felt before all of a sudden came across my body. From head to toe, I was filled with peace! The tears halted completely and the pain in my chest was gone. I felt God’s presence in that bathroom as I was covered with warmth. It was that peace which surpasses all understanding. God heard my plea and sent me comfort. He came to me and touched me through my son. Every word my family spoke to comfort me before that had failed, every touch was unpalpable. It wasn’t until I called upon the Lord that I got what I needed. And He delivered in an instant!
“Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7
From that day on I have dedicated myself to pursuing God in my life. In my words, my actions and in my relationships. And diligently seeking the correct the ways in which I went wrong and failed as a wife. It is a journey I would not trade for anything else. I have learned so much about Gods plan and directive for marriage and how I left the door open to my home for satan to attack. “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:5 I asked God to open my eyes and reveal to me my own errors so that I could seek forgiveness. “How many wrongs and sins have I committed? Show me my offense and my sin.” Job 13:23 I no longer carry the burden of my mistakes as I know “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 I pray all wives take these things to heart.
Though my marriage is still weathering this storm and my husband is still apart from me, the Lord has taught me to see him though the eyes of Christ. I feel no anger or hatred toward him or the other woman. And I wouldn’t want to. God has replaced the spirits of anger, bitterness and hatred, with spirits of love, forgiveness and compassion for them and has given me a burden for them. I am not tormented with a hardened heart of anger, but instead I am filled with love and a desire to pray for them. What a wonderful gift that is!
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
Some have said that betrayal, and losing your spouse to adultery or divorce is much like death. And I would have to agree. It is, indeed, a traumatic and horrific feeling of loss and the grief is unbearable. BUT GOD. I urge anyone who is laboring with this pain to call out to the Lord. There is freedom in the name of Jesus. There is deliverance. There is peace. And it truly does exceed our understanding. You don’t have to be held in bondage by pain.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Since I finally surrendered my life to God, and to seeking His will, I have been led to stand for my husbands salvation and deliverance. As his wife, and as a woman who made a promise to not only my husband but to God, I feel it is my privelaged duty to pray relentlessly for my husband. This I now know, is something I should have done from the beginning. As God should be the foundation of your marriage and home. And I commit to pray for my husband til death do us part. Fully believing, trusting and KNOWING that no matter what, God’s plan in perfect.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
“It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it.” Ecclesiastes 5:5
Build Your House on the Rock
24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
I’d like to take this opportunity to pray for spouses who are going through similar situations.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Lord we come boldly before your throne (Hebrews 4:16) to first give thanks for everything you have done in our lives because of your love for us. We ask your forgiveness for the times we have failed you and ask that from this moment on, that you mold us to have a godly heart and seek you first in our lives. We give thanks for the beautiful covenant of marriage and our spouses you have partnered us with to share this life, because you did not intend for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). We thank you for loving marriage and hating divorce (Malachai 2:16). We thank your for giving us your word to stand on that you are a restorer (Deut.30:3-13). That you will fight for us, we need only be still (Exodus 14:14). We thank you for your comforting hand, for being our refuge and being near to us who are broken hearted (Psalm 34:18). Father you said if we draw nigh to you, you will draw nigh to us (James 4:8). So right now Father we reach out to you and ask for your comfort and peace to come upon us. Touch our hearts and remove our pain. Remove every spirit that is upon us that hinders us from receiving your peace (2 Tim. 1:7). Father we ask that you open us up spiritually, that we may see our spouses as you see them. Through the eyes of love and forgiveness and understanding (Romans 12:2). We ask that you replace all bitterness, anger and hatred with a burden for their hearts and souls. Give us a desire to pray for them instead of seeking revenge or retaliation (Philippians 2:3-4). Help us to forgive as you have forgiven us (Ephisians 4:32). Father we know that every need and every situation is different and you have a divine plan in all things. We also know that your perfect will is not for divorce or division in what you have joined together, but you are for restoration and reconcilation (Matthew 19:8). Father we pray that your angels be dispatched and the holy spirit be sent to pursue our lost spouses, to convict their hearts and fill them with a godly sorrow and a desire to seek forgiveness (2 Corinthians 7:10). You Father are our great shepherd who leaves the ninety nine to pursue the one lost sheep and return them to their rightful flock (Luke 15:4). Thank you Jesus! Father we know that your word tells us that if we ask in Christ name, and it be your perfect will, then you hear us, and we have confidence in knowing that since you hear us, then we already have what we ask of you. It is already given (1John 5:15). Therefore we know our marriages are healed in the name of Jesus and we wait on your perfect timing for it to be made manifest in the natural realm, believing it is already done in the heavenly and spiritual realms (Habakkuk 2:3). Father we claim, believe and receive full and complete resurrection and life back into these dead marriages, just as life was spoken to the valley of the dry bones (Ezekiel 37:1-14), we speak life by your command and authority you have given us in your word. And your word is truth. Your word does not return void (Isaiah 55:11). On this we stand. In Jesus holy name. Amen.
“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58