Pastor Tim Keller said, “Nobody ever learns who they are by being told. They must be shown.” In a sense, it is one application of the adage, “Actions speak louder than words.” Spouses show their mates that they are appreciated by listening to them and loving them. Parents show their children they are valued by lovingly caring for them. Coaches show athletes they have potential by investing in their development. And on it goes. By the same token, a different kind of action can show people painful things that communicate much darker messages.

Of all the action-based messages in the universe,…