Unpause Your God-Given Journey
There was a time in my life when pangs of guilt would slam me like a runaway train. Whenever a particular relationship storyline was played out in a movie I was watching, I would cringe with guilt. Back when I was a new young Christian, I was sold out for Jesus. But life happened and I felt disqualified to serve the Lord in ministry. I dropped out of seminary. I was in the wilderness.
Many years later, I was at home alone. In the stillness of the backyard, God spoke.
“You are forgiven,” the inner voice was clear. I knew what it was about. From then on, I never experienced guilt pangs anymore.
About six months later at that same spot, God spoke again, “Go back and finish what you started.” Without hesitation, I went back to seminary without even asking what God wanted me to do after that. All I wanted was to finish what I started.
So seminary happened and I felt led to continue after I graduated. I was so confident of securing admission that I submitted only one application overseas. When it was rejected, I was devastated! For two months I was groping in the dark. I couldn’t understand what was going on.
The Detours are the Path
Reluctantly, I had to push myself to move into full-time employment. During this time, many events happened, but one stood out. My father’s health was getting worse. His hospitalisations were getting more frequent and quicker in-between. In his final two months, he was in and out of hospital four times. My wife and I were going back to my hometown to visit him almost every weekend.
In that crucial time, my father said the sinner’s prayer. Had I been overseas then, I would not have been able to be at my father’s side in his final months. As a result, we had many precious conversations and treasured moments.
“Perhaps some detours aren’t detours at all. Perhaps they are actually the path.” ― Katherine Wolf
Unpause Your God-Given Journey
Meanwhile, I continued to apply overseas for further studies and scholarships. This time, I received two unconditional offers for admission. Eventually, the time came to pay the deposit or I would lose my place. Yet, none of my scholarship applications had been successful. What should I do next?
God brought my attention twice to Deuteronomy 1:6 “The Lord our God said to us at Horeb, ‘You have stayed long enough at this mountain.’” At that point, Moses and the Israelites had stayed at Horeb for about one year. God had already revealed Himself and entered a covenant with them. Finally, it was time for them to move to the promised land.
Similarly, it has been a year since I entered into a full-time work commitment. It would seem that God is telling me that I have “stayed long enough” and it’s time to make a move. Just as Moses and the Israelites had to move out in faith, I need to move out in faith.
As I made the decision to move, there was a huge burden lifted from my shoulders. I felt energetic and happy that after a year-long delay, I am able to move on.
What about you? Are you stuck in your God-given journey? Did life happen and somehow you got side-tracked? Is God calling out, ‘You have stayed long enough on this mountain’? If yes, unpause your God-given journey and take the leap of faith.
About the Author
Among the different vocations he has had, Wee Siong Tan was a door-to-door salesman, a self-learnt IT specialist, and a seminarian. Now, he contributes to digital marketing, theological review, and church ministry in Our Daily Bread Ministries Malaysia. He thrives on coffee, commentaries, and cinema.
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