A Valentine's Day Reflection on True Love - The Metamorphosis of Love
This is how God showed his love among us: he sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. (1 John 4:9-10)
14th of February is a special day – Valentine’s Day. All over the world, people are expressing their love in all kinds of ways. Love being an eternal theme, it is also the common language of man.
Love is so desirable that everyone seeks to find true love. But out of the darkness and emptiness of man’s heart, what are manifested are acts of greed, self-indulgence, selfishness, jealousy, hatred and so on. Love becomes distorted.
Who then can satisfy our deepest longing for love, and who can help us to truly love others?
On this Valentine's Day, here is a story to help us reflect on true love.
An Min was born into a family of little means. As a child, she did not do well in school and she felt inferior because she thought she was so ordinary. She wanted so much to receive the approval of others! When she saw her friends dating, she became envious because she thought that to be desired and loved would make her worthy and of value. That's why from around 14 years old, she started to seek relationships. As long as she was in a relationship, it was good whatever the background of the boyfriend.
As her boyfriend was a drug addict, she started to take drugs in order to be accepted and approved by his circle of friends. She thought that this way, it would gain her more love. But gradually the drugs took control of her body and she fell deeper and deeper into addiction. Until one day, she and her boyfriend were arrested by the police. He was sentenced to 12 years’ imprisonment, whilst she was sent to a Christian drug rehabilitation village.
During her 19 months in the drug rehabilitation village, she led a simple and disciplined life, with early morning devotions, classes, outdoor activities, domestic chores, and so on. As a drug addict, she had encountered much negative comments and rejection from other people, but the instructors here cared for her and accepted her with an unconditional love. It helped An Min to realize deeply that God was rebuilding her life with an unconditional love and acceptance, rather than making her pay or punishing her in order to change her. It was by the grace of God that she had been sent to the drug rehabilitation village where she met again Jesus Christ whom she had raised her hand to believe in when she was in the fourth grade.
After completing her treatment, she found it hard to adjust to the outside world and her days became so dull and monotonous that she could not help but took up drugs again. This time, even she despised herself and almost wanted to give up. At her weakest point, she sought help again at the drug rehabilitation village, where her instructors continued to be as supportive as before, and her church sisters encouraged her: "You alone cannot change yourself; only God can change you.”
An Min loved singing hymns and worship, in which she was able to experience the sweetness of God's love and realized that God had never given up on her. After this fall, she understood fully how precious she was to God. Finally, she was able to break away from her previous life and instead, to begin to serve others with similar experiences.
During all this time, An Min had not abandoned her boyfriend who was in prison. For 12 years, she wrote letters to him and visited him monthly to share the gospel with him, and he promised to go to church with her upon his release.
After his release, he depended on her for many things. At first, she had felt impatient, but God reminded her that she had been accepted in the same way. An Min then decided to choose to love him as Christ has loved her. She persisted in praying for him because she believed in the power of God, not because she thought he would be able to change. Yet her boyfriend became truly changed and he decided to be baptised and to join the church to know God better.
Four years later, she finally saw that her boyfriend was serious about his faith, and it was then that An Min made a covenant with him to get married before God, to build a family after God's own heart, and to witness and glorify the Lord together. This year marks the 10th anniversary of their marriage.
Divine love surpasses all love. The sacrificial love that Jesus Christ displayed on the cross is one of unconditional acceptance and forgiveness. He alone can remove the mess and ugliness from our lives, and instead make us whole and beautiful. When we have experienced this true love, then we are set free to love and give to others.
Have you looked for love, yet still feel empty and unfulfilled? When we look for love in the wrong places, we often end up badly bruised and hurting. But God never gives up on us because His love is unceasing.
Reflection and prayer
How do we know the difference between true love and infatuation? How can we live in true love?
Father, only Your love is perfect. Let me know and experience more Your love!
Empower me to love others and may my life be transformed. Amen!
