• Topic > Relationships > Judging Others >

    Expect and Extend Mercy

    When I complained that a friend’s choices were leading her deeper into sin and how her actions affected me, the woman I prayed with weekly placed her hand over mine. “Let’s pray for all of us.”

    I frowned. “All of us?”

    “Yes,” she said. “Aren’t you the one who always says Jesus sets our standard of holiness, so we shouldn’t compare our sins to the sins of others?”

    “That truth hurts a little,” I said, “but you’re right. My judgmental attitude and spiritual pride are no better or worse than her sins.”

    “And by talking about your friend, we’re gossiping. So —-”

    “We’re sinning.” I…

    East Meets West

    When students from Southeast Asia met a teacher from North America, the visiting instructor learned a lesson. After giving his class their first multiple-choice test, he was surprised to find many questions left unanswered. While handing back the corrected papers, he suggested that, next time, instead of leaving answers blank they should take a guess. Surprised, one of the students raised their hand and asked, “What if I accidentally get the answer right? I would be implying that I knew the answer when I didn’t.” The student and teacher had a different perspective and practice.

    In the days of the New…

    Hurtful Words I Needed To Hear

    Every Wednesday, I meet with a team leader and my colleague Abigail* for lunch fellowship. Though it’s just the three of us, we thought to heed the call in Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

    Having a heart that first asks, and then listens

    What do you do when someone holds a radically different viewpoint than yours—and that “someone” is one of your children? Do you forcefully try to argue them out of it? Is that ever going to be effective? Well, today on Discover the Word, the group along with guest, author Patricia Raybon discuss the healing power […]

    Within a Stone’s Throw

    As a group of religious leaders herded an adulterous woman toward Jesus, they couldn’t know they were carrying her within a stone’s throw of grace. Their hope was to discredit Him. If He told them to let the woman go, they could claim He was breaking Mosaic law. But if He condemned her to death, the crowds following Him would have dismissed His words of mercy and grace.

    But Jesus turned the tables on the accusers. Scripture says that rather than answering them directly, He started writing on the ground. When the leaders continued to question Him, He invited any of…

    Ambassador of Love

    In my work as a chaplain, some people occasionally ask if I am willing to give them some additional spiritual help. While I’m happy to spend time with anyone who asks for help, I often find myself doing more learning than teaching. This was especially true when one painfully honest new Christian said to me with resignation, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to read the Bible. The more I read what God expects from me, the more I judge others who aren’t doing what it says.”

                      As he said this, I realized that I was at…

    5 Signs that We are Preoccupied with Ourselves

    Let’s just be honest here: We’ve all got some narcissistic tendencies. No one’s exempt. That being said, I don’t mean to offend anyone with the points below; hopefully, they serve as useful indicators to help us identify these tendencies and nip them in the bud.

    You Missed the Chance

    I heard the saddest words today. Two believers in Christ were discussing an issue about which they had differing opinions. The older of the two seemed smug as he wielded Scripture like a weapon, chopping away at the things he saw as wrong in the other’s life. The younger man just seemed weary of the lecture, weary of the other person, and discouraged.

    As the exchange drew to a close, the older man commented on the other’s apparent disinterest. “You used to be eager,” he started, and then abruptly quit. “I don’t know what it is you want.”

    “You missed the chance…

    Did Jesus Really Tell Us Not to Judge?

    “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” We’ve all read Jesus’ words in Matthew 7:1. It’s a popular verse that’s often used to rebuke Christians for judging the lifestyles, practices, or values of other people.

    A powerful exchange between Jesus and a religious lawyer

    The parable of the Good Samaritan is one of the greatest short stories Jesus ever told. Today we take a look at the stirring conclusion to a powerful exchange.

    3 Reasons Why We Gossip

    One of my earliest memories as a child was waiting for a doctor’s appointment with my mother. We were seated side by side in a nondescript waiting room, and seated diagonally across from us was a little girl with her mother.

    Faultfinders Anonymous

    Like many people, when I read a newspaper or magazine I notice the misteaks in grammar and spelling. (You saw that, didn’t you!) I’m not trying to find errors; they leap off the page at me! My usual reaction is to criticize the publication and the people who produce it. “Why don’t they use ‘spell check’ or hire a proofreader?”

                You may have a similar experience in your area of expertise. It seems that often, the more we know about something, the more judgmental we become over mistakes. It can infect our relationships with people as well.

                Yet Philippians 1:9…

    Whose Mess?

    “Could they not carry their own garbage this far?” I grumbled to Jay as I picked up empty bottles from the beach and tossed them into the trash bin less than 20 feet away. “Did leaving the beach a mess for others make them feel better about themselves? I sure hope these people are tourists. I don’t want to think that any locals would treat our beach with such disrespect.”

    The very next day I came across a prayer I had written years earlier about judging others. My own words reminded me of how wrong I was to take pride in…

    Seeing a needy world in a new way

    The actions and attitudes of an unbelieving world can be shocking at times. The behavior of unbelievers shouldn’t surprise us. God doesn’t ask people to behave in order to belong.

    The Parable Of The Sting

    I can still see Jay Elliott’s shocked face as I burst through his front door almost 50 years ago with a “gang” of bees swirling around me. As I raced out his back door, I realized the bees were gone. Well, sort of—I’d left them in Jay’s house! Moments later, he came racing out his back door—chased by the bees I had brought to him.