A long time ago, I remember hearing the verse, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” It was quoted to me by my then best friend, Daniel (name changed) an atheist who was definitely not given to quoting the Bible. I had been saying that I thought one of our other friends, Thomas (name changed) was wrong to plan to meet up with a married woman in a hotel room for the night.
“It’s an open marriage; everyone involved is fine with it. They all consent and this is their choice. Don’t be so judgemental,” said Daniel before pulling out the big guns, “Anyway, I thought you were a Christian? Don’t you know that it says in the Bible not to judge?”
“Does it?” I said. This was news to me; I thought it was part of our job to show the world how to live good, moral lives.
"Jesus Himself said it in Matthew 7 verse 1, ‘Do not judge, or you too will be judged.’”
I was stunned into silence. He had me. If Jesus said not to judge, I had no right to disagree with Thomas's freedom to pursue adultery, homosexuality, promiscuity or any other thing I had previously believed was wrong. I went home and looked it up, and there it was in #636060 and white.
Since then, Matthew 7:1 is the verse I have heard quoted most often by non-Christians. It’s usually taken to mean that Jesus told us to accept any lifestyle or belief; that we must not comment on the rightness or wrongness of anyone else’s choices. But is that really what He taught?
Everything in the Bible must be read within its context. That means we can’t just take a verse out of a paragraph or a book and make it mean something that the rest of the teaching contradicts. Matthew 7:1 is a perfect example. Here’s that verse in its context:
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way as you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. —Matthew 7:1-5 (emphasis added)
Jesus’ point here wasn’t that we are not to make any kind of judgements; He is saying that we are not to be hypocritical about it. Our natural instinct is to see the faults and problems of other people whilst ignoring our own issues and shortcomings. Jesus wasn’t saying “Don’t judge”, He was warning us against pointing the finger. This was part of a section of teaching all about the hypocrisy of the religious teachers of the time—part of their faulty thinking was how they looked down on others whilst being impressed with themselves. They were judgemental.
There is a difference between judging and being judgemental. We must judge (or discern) as Christians between right and wrong, good and bad. But we must not have a judgemental attitude. Anyone who sizes others up with a swagger of superiority is not behaving in a Christ-like way. They are a bit like the Pharisee in Jesus’ story in Luke 18:
Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: “God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.”
But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. —Luke 18:10-14 (emphasis added)
The Pharisee was following all the rules to live the right kind of life, but had a judgemental attitude. The other man was a mess, but he knew it and came to God in total humility, brokenness and dependency. He was the one who “went home justified before God”.
The core of a judgemental attitude is pride. It’s feeling better than others when we see their mistakes, struggles, lack of Bible knowledge or immature spiritual life. It’s an attitude that ranks sin and lifestyles according to what is ‘better’ or ‘worse’. Whereas Luke 18 seems to echo this teaching: “There is no one righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10). Both men needed God’s forgiveness, but only one of them realised it. It doesn’t matter if we seem to be doing well (like the Pharisee) or if we’re a total mess (like the tax collector), we all need God just as much as each other, without exception.
Many of those listening to Jesus were religious leaders, so their lives were much less obviously messy than those of the “tax collectors and sinners” (Luke 15:1). But like many of us, they forgot that pride (being judgemental) is as much a sin as stealing, lying or sleeping around, and just as big a barrier between us and God.
Avoid Being Judgemental
If we are allowed to make judgments about ourselves and others, how do we do it without being judgemental? How can we negotiate the complex issues facing us these days without becoming superior or alienating people?
For some, the only answer is to never commit to anything. But to ignore the guidance of the Bible and retreat into statements like “it’s not my place to judge” is to pretend that God never gave us any direction for God-pleasing ways to live. But He has! And He expects us to use it. So how can we hold to the teaching of God’s Word without becoming judgemental?
I remember hearing an agnostic friend condemn people with unusual sexual behaviour as “disgusting” and “vile”. I asked him if he thought he was better than they were, and he immediately said, “Yes, of course I’m better than them” (just like the Pharisee thought in Luke 18).
Often the things we are judgemental about are things that we may not struggle with ourselves. My friend had never been directly exposed to sexual immorality—and from a distance he looked down upon it. But, as we read in Romans 3, “There is no one who does good” (v.12). Given different circumstances, upbringing and influence, any of us could have been led down any number of wrong, immoral paths. None of us is really better than anyone else.
When we see someone caught in a drug addiction or a difficult divorce, our first thought shouldn’t be, “Well, look what a mess you’ve made,” but perhaps rather, “That could so easily be me.” And even if our lives look outwardly pretty decent and respectable, like the Pharisee, can any of us really say we have no dark corners? No shameful secrets? No skeletons in the closet? How would we look if they came to light? Perhaps not so far off the druggie, the divorcee or the fired employee . . .
Just because we can see what people do, it doesn’t mean we can see into their hearts and minds. Some people might look totally sorted, but be full of selfishness. Others may seem to be getting everything wrong, but inside are trying to stay close to Jesus, asking Him to bring about real change. “Judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart” (1 Corinthians 4:5).
While we may see things that are wrong in others, that should not be the basis that shapes how we think of them. There is a story in Luke 7:36-50 of a woman who anointed Jesus with special perfume and wiped His feet with her hair. Simon the Pharisee, in whose house it took place, knew she was “a sinner” (v.39). He felt he knew her better than Jesus did, because Jesus should never have allowed a woman like that near Him. But Jesus did know; He knew that she had been a very sinful woman, and He knew that she was serving and worshipping Him out of love because of His forgiveness.
The woman in that story might not have looked like she had it all together in her life—but she dearly loved Jesus and wanted to follow Him. It is not our place to judge how close other people are to Jesus and how well they love and follow Him. Only God can see into people’s hearts (See 1 Thessalonians 2:4; Hebrews 4:12; Romans 14:10-12). One day, we will all “give an account of ourselves to God” (v.12). Ultimately, true judgement is only for Him to give.
The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them . . . They will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. —Romans 14:3-4
I met Sonia (not her real name) when our daughters became friends at school. The family were Christians, as we were, but I always felt on edge with them. We had a few differences. When we first discussed them, Sonia said something like, “Yes, we used to believe I met Sonia (not her real name) when our daughters became friends at school. The family were Christians, as we were, but I always felt on edge with them. We had a few differences. When we first discussed them, Sonia said something like, “Yes, we used to believe what you do, but then we found a better church with an excellent pastor and he put us right.” There is nowhere to go with a comment like that; she ‘knew’ we were wrong and she was right.
Then there was alcohol. The subject came up every single time we met, and each time, there was no room for discussion; it was always wrong under any circumstance. To be honest, I agreed with a lot of what she said, but I just felt it was taken too far. There is no hard and fast rule in the Bible about alcohol; there is some freedom given for its moderate enjoyment. That was my take, anyway, but I never found a way to talk about it with her.
One day, her daughter came to play at our house. The girls were passing through the kitchen when she exclaimed, “Wine glasses!” I had an immediate pang of guilt. It took me a minute to remember that there was no law in the Bible against having wine glasses. I spent the afternoon hoping she wasn’t making my daughter feel like she was from a terrible family!
Every time I left Sonia’s company, I felt low. I felt like she thought I had no right to disagree with anything she said, because I was not as far along in the journeyas she was.
Judgements we must make
The truth is that Christians must make judgements between good and bad, right and wrong. We need wise discernment for big issues and for daily life so that we will make decisions that please God. Here are just some areas where judgement is essential:
Jesus asked: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3). As I hold up my own life to God, I must apply the Bible’s teaching to myself first, always. It’s easy to listen to sermons and think “That person really needs to pay attention to this!” Whereas, if we can see our own shortcomings and work through them with Jesus, we will be much more compassionate and patient with the failings of others.
Applying the Bible to myself first also means the basis of my judgements comes from the Bible, rather than my own heart. If we were to break them down, many of our judgements of others would come down to our own preferences and standards; they’re about what makes me comfortable. The only place our judgements should come from is the Bible (and not just our own interpretation of it). God is the only one who has the authority to determine right from wrong; and His Word, not our opinions, needs to be our guide.
I try not to instantly assume I am 100% right (or hold the only valid view) because I’ve always believed something, it seems right to me or even because I have looked into it in the Bible and drawn a conclusion. Other people’s views are worth listening to, considering and testing against the Bible’s teaching—it shows that we value them as people.
I know I can sometimes have quite strong views about Bible stuff, but there are very good Bible scholars and Christians who hold different views. It is entirely possible that they know something I don’t. I could be the one who is wrong. To be sure that my position is the only possible correct one is to assume that I know everything there is to know about a subject; an unlikely possibility. We must be ready to be corrected and instructed in our walk with Jesus.
I have several friends who believe things which are totally against the Bible’s clear teaching. I’m 100% convinced that they are wrong. But I love them anyway. I value them as individuals who have the right to reject biblical teaching if they choose. I keep praying for this bunch of friends, hoping that they will come to know Jesus for themselves; but even if they don’t, I try never to make them feel inferior.
Christians are often accused of intolerance when we speak out against sin; but Jesus never taught us to accept any and all lifestyles and beliefs. He taught us to love all people; but not to accept everything as equally good. Disagreeing is an issue of truth and error, but doing so with loving kindness or with a judgemental approach is an attitude of the heart. We love people who live in ways we know are not right by acknowledging that we are no better than they are. We need God’s grace as much as anyone.
The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. —2 Timothy 2:24-25
As we get to know God better, our minds are being transformed (Romans 12:1-2), but not so we can be superior to others. We grow wise and discerning so we can know better what’s good and pleasing to God in how we live. And, ultimately, we use these judgements to lift others up, being “kind to everyone [and] able to teach” so we can also bring them closer to God. That is God-centred judgement in action. It doesn’t always mean what we say will be well received—but it means we’ll be doing all we can to share Jesus’ love and welcome in a serving way. As we understand more of what it means to live for God, let’s encourage others to do the same.
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