I married at 27 to a fellow who never told me prior to the marriage, he had mental health issues. 6 years into this marriage, I was informed he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and had been hospitalized and diagnosed. As time progresses, my son was put in a religious school. His insanity pushed this young boy to act out and refused to attend. Throughout his schooling problems continued to escalate. I was as a horse in blinders, unable to see where this unacceptable behavior came from. Prior to the husband appearance, we attended church regularly, we were happy and adjusted and with God.
Forward to 2013 I discovered he was sleeping with my son step granddaughter of 21 years. Became angry and acted out in unhealthy behavior, unable to say the words of accused actions. He had me in such tremors and gained weight from stress, always his way. Under his thumb, no God in the marriage, no amount of begging would allow me to seek our maker. Since that time a 35 years of union, I have been abandoned, he initially lived with her, now apart. When I got my first apt, one morning I was woken up with a loud voice. “The devil has left you” this was the voice of God, freeing me of decades of emotional abuses and realizing what I had wasted my son & I mental sanity. Now on the verge of 2017. I’m happier with Jesus than I could imagine. My current problem is anxiety dreams of his abuse, lies, thieving and financial ruin. I awake in the middle of night praising Jesus to clear my mind. Have attended Celebrate Recovery and will attend again. I told him ( through voice mail) I could have chosen drugs. alcohol or immoral lifestyle, I choose God instead. He won’t speak to me, find it hard to pay lawyer for divorce, as I enjoyed being married may be the reason I don’t want a divorce. I must get one as he has medical bills, that find me. Wisconsin in no fault state, that would be one big reason. I will not take him back as he is the devil and my eyes are open now. I have been blessed so much from God, thank Him 24/7/365 please advise.