Read: Ephesians 5:21   Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

It is quite natural to love one’s family members. The mother who nurses her sick child throughout the night, a father who instinctively protects his daughter from attackers, the dead mother in whose shielding arms a baby is found alive after a tragic fire—all these strengthen our appreciation of familial love.

However we also increasingly read about terrible examples of abuse in the family—of mothers murdering their children or fathers molesting their daughters, or children beating and neglecting their aging parents. Child and elder abuse, spousal violence, and family breakups all point to a decline in love even in the family.

The family will increasingly be seen as a place where persons are loved and will love in covenantal relationships.

It is in this context that a Christian must make a difference at home. The Spirit’s fruit of love can have a significant impact on relationships in the family. Instead of hurting one another, family members will empower and minister to each other. Instead of hiding from one another in isolation, there will be communication, intimacy, and healthy interaction. Instead of blaming one another, they will, in grace, forgive, encourage, and affirm one another. The family will increasingly be seen as a place where persons are loved and will love in covenantal relationships.

Of course, there will be times when the fallen human nature will cause disappointment, misunderstanding, and frustration. But where else can forgiveness be practised than in the family? In the parable of the prodigal son, the father’s forgiving love makes him hope for the best and wait for his ungrateful and wayward son to return. And when he does, after repenting of his sin, the father lavishes his love on the son with generosity and grace. The elder son resents this and is unable to forgive his lost and found brother. Such dynamics are played out again and again in family life.

Paul says that we are to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Such mutual submission is not possible without having the fruit of the Spirit.

Family members must be seen in the light of God’s perspective. They are not our possessions to be used and exploited, but God’s gifts to us. In Tamil, the word for parents (petroar) is a wonderful word that simply means “those who receive”—they receive their children from God, a truth that is emphasised in the Bible. “Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3). This truth and the attitude it produces introduce the dimension of stewardship to our closest relationships. We are entrusted by God with our loved ones. Our responsibility is founded on the principle of love—love for God who gave us our family members to look after, and love for our family members as people. It means we lend them a listening ear, give them space, and welcome them at home.

It is interesting and helpful to note that Paul describes family relationships after his imperative “be filled with the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18). A consequence of being filled with the Spirit is that we will bear its fruit and reflect the love of Christ in our relationships. This will show up in a family life that builds, nurtures, empowers, and blesses.

We can pray for family members regularly, bringing each into the light and grace of God. Such prayer will help us to love them and reflect on meeting their real needs. We can find time for family members, building such priorities in our schedules and diaries. We must seek to be present in their lives when we are needed. Like Jesus, we can express such love in the form of obedience–for instance, when He obeyed his parents at home even though they did not completely understand Him (Luke 2:50–51). Paul says that we are to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Such mutual submission is not possible without having the fruit of the Spirit.

Consider this:

Do we tend to ignore love in the daily course of our lives? What modern factors tend to make us less loving? What specific steps can you take in order to better reflect the love of God?

 

Excerpted and adapted from The Virtuous Life: Cultivating the Fruit of the Spirit by Robert Solomon. ©2012 by Robert M. Solomon. Used by permission of Armour Publishing. All rights reserved.

 

Related Resources:

Real Love: Wisdom from 1 Corinthians 13.. In a world where love means different things to different people, how can you know when it’s real? Examine 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 to uncover the heart of Christ as the most definitive description of real love. Discover a love that endures all things when you open your heart to receive God’s unfailing love. Find out more here.