It’s Valentine’s Day, a day when so many are focused on romance, relationships and love. It’s provided an opportunity for me to reflect on these realities in my life and the outworking of them in my faith.
It’s not uncommon for young Christian couples to get engaged. It’s also not uncommon for these young couples to be criticised for their decision to get married young. I would know – because I fall into the category of young and engaged Christian. From the outside it can seem like a rash and ill-thought decision; something that young and naive Christian couples do to get into the bedroom quicker. Speaking from my own experience and talking to other young engaged couples, it is much, much deeper than that. Rather, it has been the most spiritually enriching period of my life, strengthening the love I have for God and my fiancée all the more.
Wanting to involve God in all aspects of our relationship has been one of the major reasons why I believe this time of engagement to be one of the most rewarding periods of spiritual growth for me. From the beginning there was a commitment to see our relationship as not just between ourselves, but between myself, my partner and God. This meant all decisions – whether big or small – would be prayed about, humbling ourselves and our earthly desires to instead seek God’s plans for us.
Praying together and consistently wasn’t easy at the start, and it still is something that can be tough to fully commit to, yet seeing the hand God has had upon our engagement and how prayer has opened and shut doors has helped us learn just how important prayer is in a couple’s life. The age of my fiancée and I doesn’t determine the spiritual maturity we have inherited through the many hours spent praying with God. Therefore when we are married, we have planted a healthy prayer life over our relationship, making it incredibly easy and comfortable to continue spending time with God together.
Spending time with God together has enabled us to understand the calling and plans God has set for us in our marriage. That He has placed us together also means understanding He has set desires for us to fulfill together. The Bible states that marriage is a union, and is not to be taken lightly. While living with one another and creating a family are all exciting aspects to look forward to, it is fulfilling the desires of the Lord in all aspects of our marriage that is integral. This makes the union created for God all the more important and special. He has plans for us together, and through this marriage and covenant, with His help, we can see them through with one another. There will be fears and trials, yet having our roots planted firmly in God and eyes fixed on him will allow for us to grow through those tougher times.
Proverbs 27:17 is a well-known verse but it sums up this period of preparation perfectly, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Growth in faith together only increases each others faith all the more. Just as iron sharpens iron, our faith builds one another up.
The misconception about young couples wanting to rush ahead without little knowledge of what’s in store is understandable. Older couples recognise this because they have experienced the growth and changes that come along with marriage, things that I have no idea about yet. But seeing the act of marriage at a younger age as a step of faith in God with his blessing and timing – rather than a rushed decision – is key in understanding why many young Christians do get engaged.
Talking to other young engaged couples, many of them share the same learnings and excitement, which is often to see the Lord flourish in their relationship. I’m aware that marriage will be just as challenging as it is exciting, and that there will be ups and downs, but I’m also aware that God has a plan for our life together. The preparation for marriage is much deeper than I had initially expected, but the teachings and faith-building that has come through it all has been nothing short of incredible.
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