I went to an all girls high school where the focus was definitely on getting a career. From there I went to university and pursued this goal further. I had my life all mapped out in my mind. Job till early 30s, then marriage, then children in my late 30s. Everything revolved around me pursuing this path. Everything revolved around me.
But then the best thing that ever could have happened did happen. I met a man and he was a Christian. He invited me to church, and God saved me. The rest is now ancient history. We got married (not at 30 but earlier), had children (in my 20s), and my pre-Christian plans went out the window. In other words, my priorities changed. I surrendered my life to God and am learning to find fulfillment in His plans, not mine. (I say ‘learning to find’ because it’s an ongoing process of dying to self.) Although the journey has not always been smooth.
There is nothing like marriage and motherhood to test one’s new found faith and priorities. One area I struggled with in this new journey of mine was this:
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:3-4).
A large portion of my life had been the opposite of this—gentle and quiet spirit. My final school leavers song was “I am Woman, Hear me Roar” by Helen Reddy. When you have been taught that you are the maker of your own destiny—with very little emphasis on motherhood—it’s hard to shake this instinct instantly. And I don’t mean we all have to become like doormats. Sometimes you need a bit of ‘oomph’ to get things done.
But as I meditated on these words, and over this change in circumstances and the new direction in my life – motherhood – I started to look for those who embodied this gentle and quiet spirit, and I discovered examples everywhere—in local churches, in history books and biographies, and in the wider society.
I also came to appreciate my own mother more. When you realise how hard motherhood can be, it makes you wonder how your own mum managed; and her mum, and every mother in generations past! One grandmother was the third of 12 children; the other was the youngest of nine!
I’m thankful that God has given us a cloud of witnesses of mothers who have gone before us and have left us with the examples of their lives. I’m also thankful that God is patient, and that He gives us His Holy Spirit to guide us through this journey of motherhood, shaping us, and changing our motivations as we seek to live by faith and in obedience to His Word … as He transforms us to be like Christ. And if I need help, all I have to do is ask for wisdom (James 1:5). (And I do need help … a lot!)
Who or what encourages or inspires you as you look at the mothers around you this Mother’s Day? And how is God working in your life, shaping you to be more like Christ?
by J. Manners
Lord, I am thankful that you are patient and generous.
Help me to cultivate a quiet and gentle spirit which is precious in your sight, and to ask for wisdom in this journey of motherhood.
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