Just about the time we think we have our education behind us, along comes a strong-willed, 25-pounds-and-growing toddler who quickly pushes us to our wits’ end. Suddenly we find ourselves “back in school” again. We begin to realize that parenting isn’t just a matter of slowly dumping our accumulated knowledge into fresh, receptive, moldable, hungry minds. Once again we begin looking for more answers.
We develop a new perspective of “the blank slate” view of childhood. As we pick up the chalk of parental wisdom, we find that the blackboard has become greasy and unaccepting of our enthusiastic desire to write and teach something wonderful. This resistance to our teaching will last for as long as we have our children. We will find, to our disappointment, that with few exceptions they learn best when we are looking the other way.
This isn’t the way we wanted it. We thought a child should be a fresh and empty document onto which we could transfer all of the knowledge we wish we had taken to heart when we were their age.
Yet learning is occurring whether we realize it or not. We are finally learning to understand our own parents. We are finding out what it’s like to desperately love a little one who seems determined to mimic our faults while resisting our values, expectations, and dreams.
We are learning something about the heart of God, which overflows with love for the little ones bearing His name and likeness. We are learning something about His joy. We are learning about the pain He feels when He sees His children turn away from His loving correction (Isa. 1:2).
We are learning a lot about ourselves. We find that these little ones are bringing out the best in us, and the worst. But even the worst isn’t all bad. Our frayed nerves, anxiety, and anger can do the same thing for us as a headache or a fever. The temptation to shout and scream, or throw around our parental authority (“Because I said so, that’s why!) are symptoms that must not be ignored.
These reactions tell us that we still have much to learn about what God can do in us. We need to grow in His insight, His selfcontrol, His ability to move us with dignity through the challenges of leading a little “center of the universe” to maturity. In the knowledge that this is good for us there is peace.