By Dhimas Anugrah
A while ago, I went to a friend’s wedding at church. As she stood at the altar, promising to be with the man she had prayed for so long, tears filled her eyes. Nearby, one of his close friends also cried—not because she was sad or jealous, but because she was genuinely happy.
We, her friends, knew everything she had been through to get to this moment. She had faced heartbreak, almost lost hope, and spent many nights praying. So when her big day finally came, her happiness wasn’t just hers—it was shared by all of us who had watched her journey and supported her through it.
This made me realize something: happiness isn’t just about the good things that happen to us—it’s also about sharing in the joy of others. In German, there’s even a special word for this: freudenfreude, which means “finding joy in someone else’s happiness.” It’s a kind of joy that doesn’t come from personal gain or shallow emotions but from deep love and genuine empathy.
When we look at the world around us, freudenfreude might feel rare or even unrealistic. Life often feels like a race, where someone else’s success can spark envy instead of celebration. It’s easy to compare and feel like we’re falling behind.
Yet, this idea isn’t new—it’s deeply rooted in the Christian faith. When the apostle Paul wrote, “Rejoice with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15), he was calling us to live out love—not just in words, but in action. In the community of believers, as one body of Christ, joy is not meant to be kept to ourselves; it’s meant to be shared. Someone else’s happiness becomes an invitation to celebrate the love that binds us together.
Why Fredenfreude Is Not Easy
We all know that celebrating others’ successes is a good thing, but it’s not always easy. Deep down, something in us reacts when we see someone else receive what we’ve been hoping for. It might be a feeling of disappointment, a quiet ‘Why not me?’ or the uneasy thought that life isn’t fair. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell the difference between normal sadness and a heart that struggles to be happy for others.
Psychological studies show that people with low self-esteem or feelings of insecurity struggle more with freudenfreude. Social media often makes this harder. Every achievement we see online can feel less like inspiration and more like a reminder of what we lack. Yet, the Bible reveals that our difficulty in rejoicing over others’ success isn’t just an emotional challenge—it’s a reflection of the human heart, wounded by sin (Genesis 6:5; Romans 3:10-20).
Sin traps us in patterns of comparison, competition, and self-centeredness. It blinds us to love because we forget that life itself is a gift. But this is exactly where the gospel transforms us. When we find our identity in Christ—not in worldly achievements or validation—we are freed to love selflessly. We can learn to rejoice in the joy of others because God’s love first fills and satisfies our hearts. That is true freudenfreude: the joy that flows from a heart touched by His love (Romans 12:15; Philippians 2:1-4; Galatians 5:22-23).
Freudenfreude: A Heart Moved by Love
The joy we feel in another’s happiness—freudenfreude—ultimately brings us to a profound question: Who do we live for, and who do we allow into our joy? If we believe that we are created not just for ourselves, but for God and others, then true joy cannot remain only with us. It must overflow, touching others and inviting them to share in the celebration.
We can learn from modern psychology, which encourages us to build this mindset through small, intentional actions. Researcher Cathy Chambliss and her team introduced two compelling ideas: bragitude and SHOY (Sharing Joy). Bragitude is the practice of sharing personal successes with gratitude— not to show off, but to appreciate those who have supported us. Meanwhile, SHOY is the genuine celebration of others’ achievements—not mere polite words, but deep, heartfelt joy. These ideas help us actively respond to the happiness of those around us.
True joy, however, isn’t just something we force ourselves to feel—it’s a reflection of what truly matters in life. I’m reminded of Luke 15, which beautifully illustrates this through Jesus’ parables. The shepherd doesn’t keep his happiness to himself; he calls out, “Rejoice with me!” The woman who finds her lost coin doesn’t celebrate alone—she invites others to share in her joy. And the father? He runs to embrace his son and throws a grand feast.
None of them practiced SHOY because of psychological theories—they did so because their hearts were moved by love. Their joy wasn’t just personal; it was meant to be shared. And in each case, there was an element of bragitude—not arrogance, but a sincere acknowledgment that what they received was a gift worth celebrating.
How Can We Be Happy for Others?
It’s normal to wonder: How can we feel happy for someone else when we’re struggling ourselves? Sometimes, life feels unfair—others are celebrating while we’re still struggling. In those moments, good news from others can remind us of our own disappointments. It can be tough, and sometimes, we don’t just struggle to be happy for others—we struggle to admit that we’re hurting.
The Bible doesn’t ignore this reality. Instead, it speaks directly to it. Jesus doesn’t just give us advice to “feel better.” He invites us into something deeper—a new way of living. It’s not just a shift in attitude, but a change in the very center of our lives—from self-focus to Christ, the One who gives life.
We don’t celebrate others because we have big hearts—we do it because God’s love has changed us. And in those quiet moments, when we shed tears of joy for a friend’s success—even while we’re still waiting—it’s there that freudenfreude becomes a powerful testimony. It’s a kind of praise that honors God, the true Giver of all joy.
Read Also:
Schadenfreude: A Misplaced Joy
Have you ever felt pleased when an arrogant person faced consequences, or a rival stumbled? There’s a distinct sense of satisfaction, especially when those who hurt us experience failure. This feeling is called “schadenfreude.”
While it may seem natural, schadenfreude raises deeper questions. Why do we rejoice in others’ suffering? Is it justice—or unresolved wounds within us? And, is such joy aligned with the heart of Christ?
Our Daily Bread Ministries in Indonesia is supported by the freewill offering of individuals in Indonesia, who through their gifts enable us to continue to bring the life-changing wisdom of the Bible to many here. We are not funded by any church or organisation.
