By Bungaran Gultom
Tears streamed down my face as a familiar voice, known for its rough demeanor and thoughtless remarks that often wounded others, spoke those unexpected words. This person, who never shied away from harsh actions or words, even when they seemed unjustified, surprised me with his vulnerability.
“I’m sorry, Amang!” (as sons are addressed in Batak culture).
Ouch! Those words struck deeper than any of the sharp comments he’d made throughout my younger years. Our shared tears that sweltering afternoon were a testament to the strong embrace we shared.
I confess, it was beyond my imagination that he would express such sincere remorse. My father, a man who had faced life alone from a young age as an orphan in Tarutung and later sought a new life in Jakarta as a truck driver, seemed to have forgotten how to apologize. Yet, there was a softening in him when the need for reconciliation became clear. The encouragement from God’s Word to forgive those who had caused deep wounds, which I received at a pastoral retreat, stirred me to return to the home I had once forsaken. In that moment, the transformative power of the Holy Spirit was evident.
As my tears flowed, it was as if the heavy load of past grievances, bitterness, and resentment dissolved, giving way to a comforting warmth within my heart and an ever-strengthening love for the man I’ve been honored to call my father. With each visit to their home, I make it a point to plant a kiss on his forehead and wrap my arms around his weakening frame. Our conversations have softened; even though his emotions may still fluctuate, they are met with understanding rather than raised voices.
Life Experiences and a Turning Point
Born the only son in a Batak family, amidst five sisters and modest means, my father’s silent teachings were clear: he wanted me to be strong, not a complainer. Through his stern treatment, he communicated a life lesson: the world is unforgiving, so shed no tears over hardship. He believed the discipline he imparted was kinder than the harsh realities of the world for those who showed weakness. This wisdom became apparent to me after our reconciliation. The physical discipline I endured, devoid of spite, was his way of steeling me against a world that is far less forgiving.
During my teenage years, little was expected from me. Even the slightest bit of encouragement would have been significant. Regrettably, that time went by without any affirming words to build my self-confidence. Looking in the mirror, I would often criticize myself: “I’m dark-skinned, skinny, curly-haired, and poor—such a loser!” These were the thoughts of a young person who had not yet discovered his identity in Christ.
The most damaging outcome, however, was the accumulation of bitterness, animosity, and resentment towards my father, which festered for years. My misconduct outside our home was a manifestation of the rebellion born from inner turmoil—a cycle where physical discipline led to resentment, culminating in defiance. It was only through divine intervention that the longstanding cycle of animosity was finally shattered.
After high school, I chose to dedicate my life to God’s service and was accepted into a theological seminary. My drive to become a full-time minister wasn’t just spiritual; it was also an escape from my father’s harsh rule. Even after years of church ministry, I realized that resentment and unresolved bitterness still lingered in my heart, affecting my life and work. The Holy Spirit urged me to let go of this resentment and embrace forgiveness. A turning point came during a retreat for pastors, where the power of Christ’s forgiveness was emphasized. It was as if God’s Word was cleaning out a long-hidden corner of my heart, previously ignored by my focus on service.
Understanding Forgiveness Through Christ
In Christian doctrine, forgiveness holds a unique place that is often less emphasized in other religions. The Christian faith continually calls for forgiveness, not merely as a lofty moral ideal but as an emulation of Jesus Christ’s example, the epitome of moral excellence for believers. To refuse forgiveness is, in essence, to claim a moral high ground above divine standards. At the heart of forgiveness in the Christian faith is the conviction that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, entered the world to redeem humanity from sin. By sacrificing Himself on the cross, He assumed the penalty meant for human transgressions. His resurrection signifies the conquest over sin and death, offering believers the promise of everlasting life.
To embrace Christ’s forgiveness, one must repent—acknowledge and regret one’s sins—and place faith in Jesus Christ as the the personal Savior who grants forgiveness and salvation. In accepting Christ’s forgiveness and living according to His will, Christians are assured of a life in God’s presence and the promise of eternity with Him, as stated in 1 John 5:11. Moreover, Christ’s forgiveness reflects the boundless grace of God, showcasing His kindness and generosity, which offers everyone the opportunity for forgiveness and a new life in Christ, as mentioned in Titus 3:4-5. Therefore, Christ’s forgiveness is fundamental to the Christian gospel and forms the cornerstone of believers’ faith and hope globally.
Embracing and Extending Forgiveness
The most profound declaration made by the Son of God, the second person of the Trinity, was: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). These compassionate words were directed at those who betrayed and crucified Him, showcasing Jesus’s divine nature even amidst the most agonizing human suffering.
Understanding and accepting the forgiveness offered by Christ can be challenging. It’s hard for many to fathom how a perfect God could pardon sinful human beings, especially through the means of crucifixion—a punishment of unparalleled brutality. Yet, it was through His sacrificial death on the cross that Jesus paved the way for our transformation, enabling us to lead lives of righteousness (1 Peter 2:24). Just as Christ embraced the cross to offer forgiveness to humanity, so too must we embrace Him to receive the forgiveness He extends. Receiving Christ’s forgiveness is not about a transaction but about forming a relationship, as it heals the rifts sin has caused. In the same way, believers are called to mend their own relationships by forgiving others.
It is not easy to extend forgiveness to those who have hurt us. However, since Christ’s death has brought us peace and reconciliation, we should not let bitterness erode our renewed humanity, which is continually restored through the power of His blood.
Have you extended forgiveness to someone who hurt you today?
Watch Also:
Forgiving Ain’t Easy
Forgiveness is a difficult thing to do. It may feel like you’re giving up or not getting justice, or maybe you just want to hold onto the grudge. While we may struggle to understand forgiveness, Jesus models a different perspective that changes everything.
Written by Jake Norris and presented by Daniel Ryan Day.
Our Daily Bread Ministries in Indonesia is supported by the freewill offering of individuals in Indonesia, who through their gifts enable us to continue to bring the life-changing wisdom of the Bible to many here. We are not funded by any church or organisation.
